Oct. 2012 Homily - Marriage

Forty five years ago I was a nervous groom.

One can just imagine that in this church's 151 years how many nervous grooms have walked through those doors? The nervous groom comes into the church sweating, shaking, but resolute. His mind reels with the thoughts of what is soon to be.

He imagines the good times to come, but also reflects on how his life is about to change. Two weeks ago he was going to the ball game with his buddies, two weeks from now he will be mowing the lawn. Friday nights he often went to the pub with the guys, future Fridays are likely couples night at the Jones’. He was a hunter, spending free Saturdays alone in the woods, but now he is more of a gatherer being dragged to the farmer’s market. The two seat-er he loves to drive around town, feeling the wind in his hair, will soon be traded off for a mighty mini-van. His finger will no longer be naked, he will be banded to another. He will no longer sleep alone, and while an immeasurable blessing, she will probably steel the bed covers. His house may soon be noisier, with crying children and little feet scattering toys across the room. His mind is full with thoughts of what is soon to be….and he likes it.

He is trading. Trading a life he knows for one that satisfies. A life that completes him, he has found his better half. While he walked in this church a nervous groom, he leaves it as half of a new creation. He no longer is an individual.  He no longer thinks for just himself, for he breathes for another. He puts her first, her comfort, her safety, her very joy.

Marriage is a joy, sometimes a chore, but it is a joy. 
Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.
Marriage is a joy, a sacrament, a grace. 
Marriage is work, a husband must serve his wife and a wife ministers to her husband.

...But it isn’t always easy to care for someone so closely when strife moves in as well. When standing before the altar he may not have imagined the disagreements he was likely to have, or the one argument he would have again and again, year after year. Married couples are a new being, a new creation, but they think with two minds. What one prefers the other may detest. It is a call to compromise, to value the relationship above one’s preference.

Marriage in the Catholic Church is different. As Catholics we are different.

Just as marriage is a new creation, as we celebrate the Eucharist, we are made new creations in Christ. We do not believe in disposable relationships, whether it is marriage, friendship, neighbors, or the common bond we share in Christ. We are a community bound together by a common love. We are a one in faith, one in belief, we are a family. We come here as Christians to nourish our whole selves with word of God and the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ to reconnect and join in communion. We come here to worship together, to be one in Christ. Just like our married couples we are a community joined together in the love of our Lord.

At times in all marriages, or in most relationships of any kind. There are times when we get angry or are disappointed by the ones we love. Even if we have been wronged, even if our anger is righteous, What are we called to do?

Our faith doesn't ask us to embrace people in spite of their flaws.
Our faith doesn't demand that we overlook what we don't like.
Our faith commands us to embrace the whole person and love them flaws and all.
We are a faith of forgiveness, we do not harden our hearts and push away the people we love. We do not break what we spent a lifetime building. We mend.

For a strong marriage even though there are disagreements the couple know in their hearts that their marriage is for keeps and they will work through their differences for the good of their marriage. Within each of their hearts there is a deep love for each other, love that is greater than their disagreements, a love that would pull them through all sorts of tragedies,--- and everlasting love. This new creation lives on. Jesus and Genesis agree. Cling is an important word from the Bible. We are to cleave, cling, connect, hold, embrace, put our arms around each other, be united. We are the body of Christ, a body that must not be broken. Our challenge is clear, if we love, love fully. If  love, love self-less-ly. 

If we love, love each other like God loves us.